When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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