Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
if only i could text you this smell
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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