i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
