Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
