it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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