hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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