I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
