The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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