some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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