I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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