Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
