Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize