i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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