Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
