Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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