We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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