I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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