Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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