This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Vodka?
Forever.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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