Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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