but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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