I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you win again, gameday.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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