My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
