I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
jump out the window naked night went bad
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
