You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So vagazzling was a success
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