My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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