last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We have so much sex to catch up on
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize