why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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