I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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