Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
