Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
