i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
