we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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