my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
