he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize