Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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