ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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