I puked a lego.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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