I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
