What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize