operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
