You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
the night ended with taco bell and tears
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
