thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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