i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
