I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
