That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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