If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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