did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
