is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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