Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
