Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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