I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize