he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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