i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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