Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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