Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
