there's paper in my vomit.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
