yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
