Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
