Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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