So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
